As a writer, I've come to like pithy, tight writing. No better place to find tight writing than in an epitaph.
Here lies old Rastus Sominy
Died a-eating hominy
In 1859 anno domini
Savannah, Georgia
Blown upward
out of sight:
He sought the leak
by candlelight
Wiltshire, England
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car
was on the way down.
It was.
near Albany, New York
The dust of
Melantha Gribbling
Swept up at last
by the Great Housekeeper
Woodville, England
On a hypochondriac's grave:
See. I told you
I was SICK!
Littleton, Colorado
Here lies the body of
Jane Gordon
With mouth almighty
and teeth accordin!
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Some atheist's claim to fame.
Here lies
an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Thurmont, Maryland
Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte.
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For 16 years she kept her virginity
A damn'd long time for this vicinity.
Death Valley, California
I put my wife beneath this stone
For her repose and for my own.
Middlebury, Vermont
And, one of the favorites I heard in childhood:
Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.
Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona
For more epitaphs, check out this cool website.
1 comment:
Those were fun!
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